


You had ONE job!

by mrs_javert



Category: Star Trek: Picard
Genre: Bar Fight, Raffi is done with everyone’s bullshit
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-20
Updated: 2021-01-20
Packaged: 2021-03-12 07:40:14
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,417
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28881852
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mrs_javert/pseuds/mrs_javert
Summary: A fight at a bar!Rios and Seven have been arrested.Raffi is NOT impressed.
Relationships: Raffi Musiker/Seven of Nine
Comments: 5
Kudos: 25





	You had ONE job!

**Author's Note:**

> My ‘word tank’ is a little empty at the moment for continuing my bigger fics in progress thanks to worries about lockdown/covid etc so I threw together this little ‘quickie ficcie’ and hope you all enjoy it :)

The planet of Axith was relatively small, an off the beaten track M-class planet visited mostly by travellers using it as a stop off and ships crews making purchases from it’s well stocked parts warehouse and repair station.  
Aside from a few large dusty settlements barely worthy of the word “cities” there was little to see or visit. A few hotels, small shops and several bars had cropped up in recent years to accommodate crews of ships undergoing major repairs or those who were waiting to collect parts.  
Occasionally trouble would flare up at one or more of the bars as waiting crews drank and the local police would follow their well trod routine of hauling those involved away for the night.  
Today was no different.... it also happened to be a day the freighter La Sirena arrived in orbit to purchase replacement parts.  
What could possibly go wrong?

***********************************

The old fashioned and underfunded police station was located at the edge of the city and already several of its drab two person jail cells were occupied after a disturbance at one of the local bars.  
Behind the bars of the second cell two people, a man and a woman, sat side by side upon a wooden bench against the back wall.  
Both sat with thier cuffed hands in thier laps and displaying a sour demeanour on thier faces.  
With a sigh of displeasure Captain Rios raised his cuffed wrists. He gave them a tug to test the strength of the old style chain before giving up and dropping his hands back to his lap.  
“Take Seven with you she said...”, he drawled as he turned his head to observe his blonde companion, “...well that’s the last damn time I listen to Raffi”.  
Seven said nothing. She inhaled a large breath, looked to Rios and returned his glance with an equally unimpressed one of her own.  
Rios sighed again. He was pissed off. A bruise on his left cheekbone was beginning to smart, and he desired nothing more than to get back to his ship.  
Seven looked down at her right hand to see her bruised and grazed knuckles and she was sure a large bump was forming on the back of her head where...something...had hit her.  
“I thought Fenris Rangers were supposed to keep the peace”, Rios chuckled with unhidden sarcasm, “not start fights in bars”.  
“He was looking for a fight”, replied Seven. She continued to stare straight ahead at the bars all the time fully aware of Cris’s demeanour.  
“Oh you gave it to him and now we’re stuck here, well done”, the freighter captain replied and then grumbled something in Spanish under his breath.  
“You were not exactly an unwilling participant if I recall...”, Seven responded as she gave her own cuffs a tug. She knew that as an xB she had the ability to break the chain quite easily but further upsetting the local law enforcement would certainly not help thier position.  
Both returned to sitting in stony silence and leant back against the wall for some time.  
It had been over two hours since they had been hauled in by the police and the occasional shout still echoed from nearby cells, no doubt from others the authorities had arrested at the bar.  
“They should have contacted La Sirena by now”, Rios sat up and turned himself slightly to face Seven, “someone’s gotta come bail us out surely, the ‘old man’ perhaps? Can’t say he doesn’t owe us a favour”.  
“And a ship”, Seven muttered.

************************************

Two hours later both were still sat on the bench, cuffed, silent and still locked behind the bars of the cell.  
Seven sat back with her eyes closed, mentally chastising herself for actions that had spoiled tonights plans for a romantic dinner with Raffi in a swish holodeck restaurant.  
Irritated, Seven raised a foot and gave herself a mild kick to her own shin.  
Next to her Rios too sat back against the wall, his eyes closed.  
Despite thier location and circumstance, Seven was certain he had earlier fallen asleep for atleast ten minutes.  
Suddenly both jolted upright, eyes open and alert as the large iron door in front of thier cell bars opened with a loud metallic clang.  
“Visitor”, a station guard said as he stepped through into the walkway.  
“You see? Home time!”, Rios nudged Seven with his elbow and gave her a knowing grin and a wink as he quickly got to his feet.  
“Admiral, I...”, he began.  
He stopped speaking as the visitor stepped through and dropped himself back down onto the bench. It was not Admiral Picard.  
“Oh...Raffi...”, he observed.  
The guard shut the door and stepped back into the corner of the walkway.  
Raffi approached the bars. Her curls bounced as she shook her head in disapproval at the pair sat silently infront of her. She was not impressed.  
“Goddamnit you two, you had one job!”, she began with clear frustration, “beam down, meet the parts agent and acquire six plasma coils, that was all you had to do. Now where on that list did it say start a bar fight and get arrested?”.  
“Raff, we can explain...”, Rios offered and looked back up.  
“Really? Well this had better be good Cris cos I’ve got Agnes in tears up there convinced you’re gonna be carted off to some prison colony and Elnor threatening an armed rescue if any harm comes to Seven”, Raffi pushed her curls back and huffed.  
Seven looked up and waited a moment while Raffi took a deep breath and breathed out slowly to calm herself.  
“The parts agent was late. He overran with another client so we decided to wait in the bar opposite to kill some time”, Seven recalled.  
Raffi folded her arms and listened, “Mmm hmm...”.  
“We’d been there about an hour when this drunk guy at the next table made a lewd remark about Seven”, Rios added, “very lewd”.  
“So you hit him?”, Raffi shrugged expectedly.  
“No Raff”, Rios shook his head, “I reminded him that a man doesn’t use that sort of language in front of a lady and as two responsible adults we let it slide”.  
Raffi raised an eyebrow and waved her hand towards her as if she was pulling the story from the incarcerated pair sat before her.  
“Go on...”, she urged.  
Seven shifted slightly where she sat and looked to Rios and then to Raffi.  
“He came over to our table and said it again, only louder”, Seven continued the story.  
“And lewder”, Rios added.  
“THEN you hit him?”, Raffi asked, determined to piece this story together.  
There was a slight pause before Rios reluctantly nodded his head sideways towards Seven. “Technically she hit him”, he admitted.  
“Christ’s sake Seven!”, Raffi’s voice raised and she gestured her hand towards her lover, “I thought Fenris Rangers were supposed to...”.  
Seven raised her cuffed hands immediately, the chain jangling as she did so and held up her hands to cut the raging Raffi off.  
“I know, I know... I’ve already had this conversation”, the Ranger nodded in Rios direction, “and besides, the drunken remark wasn’t even anatomically possible”.  
Raffi frowned. She did not need this today.  
“So then what happened?”, the XO shrugged.  
“He fell onto three Klingons at the next table...”, Seven admitted with a slight hint of reluctance at the admission.  
“Oh... Well that’s just great!”, Raffi rolled her eyes in disbelief, “just great!”  
“That went down about as well as you might expect”, Rios nodded.  
“The Klingons lashed out at us and we had no choice but to defend ourselves”, Seven recounted and inspected the fingers of her right hand which was still sore from having punched a Klingon to grab his d’k tahg blade from his grasp and throw it clear of the fight.  
“We stood our ground pretty well actually”, Rios added, “until a Klingon threw the drunk guy across the room at a Nausican”.  
Raffi looked down. She rubbed her eyes and shook her head for the umpteenth time.  
“That’s when the Vulcan got involved”, Seven added.  
Raffi looked up quizzically and blinked, she was uncertain if she had heard that part correctly.  
“Vulcan? Just how the hell did you two idiots get a VULCAN involved in a bar fight?”, Raffi’s expression was now utterly incredulous.  
Again Rios and Seven exchanged glances, a posture resembling a couple of school children owning up to bad behaviour.  
“The Nausican was pissed off, jumped right onto one of the Klingons, almost took Seven down with him”, Rios recalled.  
“The Vulcan was reading at the next table. His drink was spilled when we were pushed against it”, Seven admitted.  
“The Vulcan put the pinch on one of the Klingons, then the Nausican turned his attention to Seven and myself while the two remaining Klingons started on the Vulcan”, Rios continued.  
“Well then what happened?”, the exasperated XO held out her arms and demanded.  
Rios breathed in. His shoulder throbbed as he did so, a constant reminder of being struck by the Nausican.  
“It got ugly by this point but we managed to subdue the Nausican eventually, I finally took him down with three blows from what remained of a chair”, Rios nodded and sounded more than a little proud of himself over that particular feat.  
“You, Cris?”, Raffi folded her arms and raised her eyebrows, “you took down a Nausican? You’ll be dining out on that tale for the rest of your life that’s for sure”.  
A small smirk spread slightly from Rios mouth as he continued to watch Raffi.  
“You should be thanking me Raff”, he chuckled, “he was about to glass Seven in the face with a bottle when I knocked him out”.  
Seven gave a single nod of confirmation.  
“After that we thought it might be best to leave so we headed out the door...”, Rios paused.  
“...And into twenty six disruptors pointed at us by the police”, Seven completed the story.  
Both Seven and Rios fell back into an awkward silence. The freighter captain ran his cuffed hands over his beard while Seven twiddled her fingers together as they waited for Raffi to finish processing all she had just heard.  
Rios shifted uneasily and broke the silence. He leant forward slightly towards Raffi, his voice a little more hushed.  
“So uh Raff, what’s the score with getting us outta here?”, he asked.  
Raffi took a few steps to the side of the walkway infront of the cell, thinking. She said nothing and then turned and walked the few steps back to the other side before stopping once more in the centre.  
“Well now y’see Cris this is where it gets kinda awkward”, Raffi began, “atleast for you two anyway”.  
Rios recognised a subtle change in both Raffi’s voice and body language. It wasn’t much but there was a definite hint of self satisfaction and typical Raffi playfulness.  
Seven too was beginning to recognise this.  
“We’re listening...”, Rios answered with an air of caution.  
Raffi straightened her posture and once again pushed her curls back.  
“You’re both fined 360 Grokots or...”, she put on her best and most sweet and innocent smile, “...or you both stay here in jail for the next two days”.  
Rios snorted at the prospect.  
“Look just pay the damn fine Raff, get us outta here, and we’ll sort it out later”, he urged.  
Seven reached aside with her cuffed hands and tugged Rios sleeve as a prompt to stop him talking any further.  
He looked to her questioningly.  
Seven breathed in and looked directly to Raffi. With a raised eyebrow she asked, “Why are you smiling?”.  
Raffi nodded to herself, satisfied that nothing ever got past Seven’s observations.  
“Well y’see babe, JL and I have spent half the day running around trying to track down your parts supplier for these damn plasma coils”, she paused, “or as I like to call it ‘clearing up you two’s Goddamn mess’!”  
Rios raised his cuffed hands once more as he grew slightly less confident.  
“Wait, wait, just how much is 360 Grokots anyway?”, he asked.  
Obligingly Raffi took her personal holo from her pocket, activated it and made a quick conversion to a more recognisable currency before showing the result to Rios and Seven.  
“Shit”, said Rios. Seven could do little but nod in agreement with his sentiment.  
“So you see my little jailbirds, we have a problem since we’ve just spent almost everything we have on keeping your ship running”, Raffi explained and placed her hands firmly on her hips.  
Rios sat back and slumped against the wall, his eyes narrowing.  
“So what are you saying Raffi?”, he asked.  
“She’s saying we’re staying here”, Seven answered before Raffi could speak.  
The XO flashed Seven a brief yet apologetic smile.  
“What? Hey Raffi, wait, get Picard on the damn comm”, Rios stood.  
“After the bullshit you two pulled? I’d throttle the pair of you myself if they let you out right now!”, Raffi shook her head, “No, no... Seven, Cris, I’ll be back in forty eight hours.”  
Before either could respond Raffi turned and headed towards the guard who waited by the heavy iron door.  
“Keep ‘em!”, she said with an exaggerated smile.  
The guard opened the door and Raffi exited to the sound of Rios cursing something in Spanish.

****************************************

Back in the main station area the guard stopped once the door to the cells was shut and secured.  
“I’m confused madam”, he scratched his head as he turned back and looked to Raffi, “you told them you couldn’t pay the fine for thier release, and yet I know that you paid it just a short while ago”.  
Raffi’s expression grew into a large mischievous grin and she playfully pushed a few rogue curls back with her fingers.  
“Oh I know that Honey, and you know that, but THEY don’t know that yet”, Raffi smiled, “let ‘em squirm a little longer and I’ll be back for them once we’ve completed our repairs in about oooooooh six hours?”.  
“Remind me never to play poker with you Ms Musiker”, the station guard nodded with a chuckle and showed Raffi back out into the dusty street.  
Raffi chuckled to herself as she walked away. She knew Rios would be pissed off when he found out the truth, and Seven could sleep in her own damn bed tonight, but after the stress the pair had caused today Raffi was going to enjoy every moment of this.

**Author's Note:**

> Originally I was going to have Raffi leave them in jail for the full two days ;)


End file.
